Me and Christopher - officially over. For fucking ever. He has talked way too much shit. Work - finally got the second job. Yay. Um..that one guy - nice guy, can't go there right now. That one I like so damn much - arrrghhh..fucking gave me something I can't exactly give back. Yuck. Temperature in this fucking house - FUCKING FREEZING..brrrr. Do I want to go to work tomorrow - hells no. I had much fun with the fucker-over tonight though. I know, I'm an idiot. That is all.
Well, me and him kind of broke up..we've been on a fucked up so-called 'break' for over two weeks. I was supposed to go back to mom's tomorrow or Thursday, but something's come up..again. I'm tired of this shit. I don't want to go home that bad, but I can't stay here and have a successful breakup either. He won't talk about it..'there's nothing to say' he says. Well, that just screams 'fuck it', and I need to leave. I will probably store my shit at home and crash elsewhere.
I'm not sure what I want to do. I am so confused and I feel very behind. I know I need to do something. I need to grow up and move forward. I am not looking forward to the after-effect of what I think I need to do. Everyone is telling me it's the right thing, it's for the best. But I don't want to look back and regret it. I'm debating on whether this is how it is meant to go for now, and that things will get better with more time..or should I move on and see what else is out there for me? I wish I knew what I am here for, what my purpose is..the person that I am meant to be. This would be a lot easier if I did. It's all bound to blow up in my face if I don't make some sort of move in the near future, but I'm so anxious about how it will all go down. I'm really hesitant to move on, but I'm quickly approaching my breaking point.
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toxxicpinkacid's journal
thirsty
anxious
irritated
uncomfortable
frustrated
bored